Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
