Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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