I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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