Your face is a jimmy john
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
