Your face is a jimmy john
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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