fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
