i just wanna soil my oats bro
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
