i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
if only i could text you this smell
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
