craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
how does that bad decision feel?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
