I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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