If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
pray to the hookup gods
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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