Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
