Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
