I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
