were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
