i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
