I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
