shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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