theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
