i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
