2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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