I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize