Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
