I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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