More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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