I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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