Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
