I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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