No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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