Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize