"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you had me at cake vodka
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
