I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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