Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize