Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
