And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
