Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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