ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
