Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
