I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
