he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
