I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
