just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
