He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What drink are we having for lunch?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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