Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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