i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
