Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
