if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
