He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
