I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
