so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
