Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
