Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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