Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
