i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
BRING THE BAGELS
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
