i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
