I wannas sexs uuuuu
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize