A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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