Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
