i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
