TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
