who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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